The Upside Right

Thanks to a recent blog by a blogging buddy I’ve decided to not only share my reflections from 2019, but I have decided to blog again. For a long time I stopped blogging, and I am grateful to God and the Universe for Authors like Kiana who not only share their experiences, but also encourage and challenge their readers. Thank you!

2019 was awful! I honestly didn’t enjoy much of it and even as I write this blog I am not sure how I feel about what this year has done for me, took me through, and made me realize. Most of it was ugly, painful, heartbreaking, and gut-wrenching. However, the closer I get to the end of this decade the more I realize how it was all necessary.
I figured the best way to prevent this blog from getting tagged as a long read was to list (just a few and in no specific order of importance) some things that took place in 2019 that have placed me in deep reflection causing a major shift in who I am and where I am.

Emergency Surgery

Realizing that I grew up in a toxic environment full of Narcissism

Learning to create boundaries (mostly with family)

Ending a long-term abusive relationship

Loss of friends


The reflections are as follows:
EVERYTHING in 2019 has forced me to grow up, accept the truth, increase my trust and faith in God, open my eyes, live a healthier lifestyle, work smarter, maintain balance, pursue peace, pray without ceasing, seek mindfulness, and spend less money (hahaha). I am grateful for the results of this “ugly” year and I am all the more grateful to God for not allowing my faith to fail. I am aware that many people don’t survive some of the things that I endured, but I am reminded of my mom’s words one day when I shared with her some trials I was facing.

“It sounds to me like Satan had a discussion with God about you, just like he did about Job.”
I couldn’t fathom for quite some time why so many awful, tragic, and what felt like unfair things were taking place in my life one right after the other. I couldn’t find an answer for what seemed like forever as to why my life was turning upside down. Thanks to deep reflections and meditations I have concluded that I have been on a journey to the place called upside right. Truthfully coming to the realization that before I was even conceived or formed in my mom’s womb God had predestined me with a purpose and calling in which I was responsible for discovering shifted me beyond belief. The more trials, heartaches, and breakdowns that crossed my path the more I fought in faith and prayer. I do not believe that the trying of my faith has ended and I don’t believe it ever will. However, ugly circumstances in this year have matured me mentally and since we all know that the mind is a battlefield, I am expecting a positive outcome no matter what. I believe that this is one of the realizations God desired for me to grasp this year. NO MATTER WHAT a positive outcome is possible, and as long as I remain on this path (although rugged at times) at least I know that I am headed to the upside right.

1 thought on “The Upside Right”

  1. I can also say that 2019 had some stuff in it that I can stand to never experience again. But as you mentioned, I know that I had to see those ugly things to know what I’m working with, so that I can work toward something new and better. I’m honored that I inspired you and I’m glad you’re back on the blogging tip!
    I’m so moved by this statement you made, “NO MATTER WHAT a positive outcome is possible”. Hard times will continue to be a part of life, but the way that we approach them and handle them will make all the difference. We have to know that all things work together for the GOOD!

    Kiana! Thanks for sharing!!!


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